Samhain Says: Let Go

8 years ago I knew nothing about web design much less how to write the code that would make a website function. It was 2001, PHPNuke had just hit big, CSS was declaring the death of HTML and PHP was the new way to code without proprietary concerns. One January morning, I decided I wanted a website so I set about learning how to create one.

7 years ago, I began compiling all the magical research so it could be input into the website I had learned to create. 6 years ago, me and three of my friends combined our favorites lists and created a pagan oriented search engine. Almost 5 years ago, on the summer solstice 2004, I uploaded both and officially opened SapphireMoon.info.

During those 5 years, SapphireMoon grew into a circle of multiple sites, some as subdomains others as their own domains. Everything from a small non-profit hosting company to a quarterly ezine to a charity for abandoned cats and so on; sometimes as many as 6 or 7 sites at one time. As the sites grew, I gained a greater understanding of coding, enough to be able to work as a freelancer. This was a benefit I had never expected and one for which I, and my checking account, are grateful.

I have been surprised by the kind emails I have received over the years. I am pleased and incredibly flattered to know that meditations I wrote or research I brought together are being used by covens and individuals from Virginia to Australia to Italy. I am thankful that I because of the sites, I have gotten the chance to speak with prominent pagans who I respect and admire.

Most of the people I came in contact with because of my sites were genuine, kind people. The others plagiarized my work for classes then sent me the edits their teachers had made, attempted to steal images from the charity site, asked for assistance then never said so much as thank you, strongly suggested that I write more material in order to save them the time of research, etc. It was even necessary for me to fight the wholesale duplication of WebWeaver, not once but twice.

With a third redesign for all the sites becoming imperative and the code running the sites becoming in desperate need of cleaning up and updating, I started blankly at my monitor. The Book of Light alone had grown to over 1100 pages, almost 2000 links at WebWeaver would need to be manually verified, I realized that I just didn’t have it in me. I began to view the sites as an albatross.

Not only was I daunted by the amount of time in front of the pc that would be required to revamp the sites, but my interests have changed both magically and practically speaking. For over a year I have gone back and forth about what do to do with SapphireMoon. I didn’t want to leave it to languish, not updated and forgotten like litter on the information super highway. All of it had to be redone or it had to be mercifully killed.

The words Elizabeth Barrett said to me when I first opened SapphireMoon rang in my ears. She had warned me. So on November Eve, an appropriate time for letting go, I determined to shut down all of the sites except BroomCloset Witch.

The sites officially closed at noon yesterday, and though I was heartened to see my inbox fill with emails this morning, they will not be coming back from the dead. Letting go wasn’t as difficult as I feared it might be, in fact it wasn’t hard at all. I am free to move forward.

 

Is it New Years Day?

A lot of folks view Samhain as the beginning of the new year, Happy New Year to those of you that do, but I don’t and I was recently told that I was wrong. *humph* Since I know you’re going mad wondering, here’s why…

The calendar on my fridge doesn’t end until December. This would mean two calendars, which would take up most of the fridge and get really confusing for two months. I’d miss appointments, my cats would never get to the vet, birthdays would be forgotten…it would be a mess.

More seriously, I’m not of Celtic descent nor do I follow a Celtic tradition*. Since the acknowledgment of Samhain as the beginning of a new year resides with the Celts, that lets me out.

It doesn’t feel like New Year or new beginnings. Nothing happens on Samhain, the days don’t begin to get longer or shorter, the sun doesn’t begin to grow stronger or weaker, flowers aren’t bursting from their bulbs. Sure it is the last harvest and the bringing in of the herds in some climates, primarily in northern colder areas like the mid-Atlantic states and the British Isles; it is not so where I live.

The energy of Samhain is about death and moving into a resting period. The hard work of the planting, growing, harvesting seasons has finally been completed so we and the earth are rightful to be tired and in need of a snooze before we begin thinking about gestating any new ideas, endeavors or crops. Hardly the pop of a fresh start I envision as the new year, it feels more like the beginning of the end of the old year and a good time to curl up and take a long winter’s nap.

Maybe we feel like a resting period is a waste of time.  We’re always connected, always going.  How silly of us.  Nature knows it needs a rest; animals hibernate, fields lay fallow and trees stand barren.

If the period between Samhain and the winter solstice is like a good night’s sleep, then the winter solstice is the soft rays of sunlight streaming in the window to wake me up.

I celebrate New Year and make my resolutions on winter solstice, when the resting period has ended and the sun begins to grow in strength, assuring me of the promise of spring. This feels like a new beginning to me. I’m fully rested, waking up and looking forward to beginning all over again.

A strong argument could be made for celebrating new year on the spring equinox, but I’d would have that whole calendar issue again.

*For anyone wondering why I posted 9 Days of Samhain if I’m not Celtic, Samhain is November Eve in my house which we celebrate like a combination of Thanksgiving and the Feast of All Souls so it’s pretty close to the same thing. Plus, 9 Days of November Eve just didn’t have a catchy ring to it.

Interesting Link: The History of New Year, with information about alternative new year celebrations still being observed the world over.